My daughter is 14 months now and developing into a person, someone with a unique personality, quirks, a sense of humour, and a tiny itty bitty attitude.
I have no idea where she gets that from.
Recently I’ve noticed that I’ve been saying things to her that I never thought I would hear myself say.
Things that only others parents can relate to.
Sigh.
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“Stop waving the spatula at the cat! That’s not how you make friends!”
“Just let me pick your nose and then you can watch Mickey Mouse.”
“Please stop mashing banana into your hair.”
“The chair is not to be chewed on, nor is the deck, go find something else to put in your mouth.”
“Really? Are you that hungry? Do we starve you? Please stop eating the deck.”
“You don’t have to scream and pull on your hair like a lunatic, I will take you pig tails out, even though they look super cute and without them you look like you’ve been through a windstorm.”
“Please don’t lick the garbage can.”
“Any and all cat food that is in your mouth should be put into mommy’s hands immediately!”
“No thank you, I’m stuffed and half chewed hot dog isn’t really that appealing.”
“Hands out of your poop!!”
“Mommy’s going to have a bath alone tonight because you pee in the water.”
“Hey! Face OUT of the Cat dish!”
“No, we don’t eat ants, dirt, or rocks!”
“Whatever, eat the dandelion, yaaaahhh, mmmmm.”
“I’ve asked you twice today to stay out of that cat food! Show me how many pieces you have in your mouth!”
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I know you’ve all said these or a variation of these things to your children!
What ones were your best or most shocking?
Let us know and we’ll vote on Friday!! Winner to be announced Monday June 27!!
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I love the licking of the garbage can! I seriously don’t think my children ever did that. I just get a visual and laugh! Sorry. It’s funny! We have all been there in one way or other! 🙂
Your children sat in buckets!!
I totally have had a couple of these. Suprisingly mostly to my daughter.
“Take that blanket out of your mouth! it is not a chew toy”
“Take the paper out of your mouth! Find something else!”
“Please dont chew your dummy!”
“Stop undressing yourself, its cold”
“Will you just keep your socks and shoes on for one second!”
My son maybe has a couple.
“Stop asking for food, you ate like half an hour ago and you just had a snack! How much more can you eat?”
“No, mommy doesnt want to make a rocket, house, gun etc. again. 10 times is enough!”
“Dont you tell me no!”
Why do they always want to be naked and eating!?
Hilarious! Unfortunately I can’t remember any of the things I said to my kids when they were young – it was too long ago. That said, I can remember some of the things I’ve said to my teenagers:
I’m not a maid service.
I’m not running a restaurant.
I just went grocery shopping so I don’t believe you when you say there’s nothing to eat.
Oh teenagers. They eat a lot! I’m going to be poor. And hungry.
Oh my gosh. I know. Last week I said “Justin put your penis away and eat your pizza.”
Lmao!!! Omg I’m laughing so hard!!!
Plus! I say that to my hubs all the time.
Lol
oh my freaking god! I’m so glad I have girls. They have nothing to whip out!!
You betcha I have. Only this year it was “How many of those columbine seeds did you eat…yup my kid ate columbine seeds that were poisionous. Fack.
Oh great!! I often wonder how many poisonous plants mine has ate. Gives them character!!
Its amazing what comes out of your mouth as a mom. Whats more amazing? That it seems normal to say it!
I have had an issue lately with my 6 yr. old.
“You only touch your vagina in the bathroom or your room, please.”
Something to look forward to 🙂
Ah hahaha!! Omg!! I hadn’t thought of that yet!! Awesome!!
Frequently it’s “Do not drag the dog around by his penis.”
Frequently.
Sweet lord in heaven this is hilarious!
I cannot tell you how hilarious
I think we need some kind of vlog on this….I would love to see it on video! lol
Omg.
I love “Hands out of your poop!” Even when Zoe was itty bitty and lacked all coordination, she could still get her hand down there before I could wipe her.
My all time fave? “Please stop slapping your vagina.” Oh, kids.
Omg. I just laughed so loud!! The vagina ones kill me!!
bahahahahahaha you seriously have to do a conversations with your kids post for me!!!! You are so funny
I so will
I have a whole list of crazy things I have said to my children in my phone but I’m in bed and the phone is far, far away. I will try to remember and add mine to the list when I get up later. But some of the things you have said to your daughter I have also said to mine.
I await your hilarity.
Now that they are older, I say: “How does it feel to want?”
Come to think of it, I say that to my husband too…..
Hahaha. Mine just takes!! Scandalous!
Hahahahaha! All fantastically funny!
Mine varies day to day and these are the ones I remember:
“Drop the potty, young man!”
“Stop turning the A/C on and off please.”
” Don’t open that drawer!”
” Watch your head/ fingers/ toes!”
“Stop pulling on the toilet paper.”
“Don’t put the toilet paper in the toilet!”
” Don’t try to flush that toilet, it’d get blocked!”
“What’s that in your mouth?”
“Why are you pouring water on your books?”
“Why are you stuffing my money into your father’s boots?”
“Don’t walk on the sofa!”
“Get off the table now.”
“Stop playing with Mama’s food.”
“Don’t pull on your penis, you need it.”
And that’s not even the full list.
Putting money in daddy’s boots!! This child needs to learn to put daddy’s money in Mommys boots!!
These are hilarious!! Just wait until she’s a little older, the things that will come out of HER mouth might shock you. My 7 year old said, while in the shower, “I’m a little pissed off right now”. Clearly he had no clue what it meant, because he was perfectly happy. I laughed until I cried!
My bests are:
“Put your pants on! Your gonna get a cold in your bum!”
“That’s it! I’m calling Santa!”
Lol!! Cold in your bum!! HA ha
Oh Leigh ann! I’m DYING about licking garbage. I wish I could think of something funny, but that is just hilarious. Emma used to do that too.
Or eat the stuff laying on the top
My child eats everything off of the floor too. She loves it. I swear I feed her!
Haha! I have said variants of all of this to my sun.
May faves probably are:
“Thank you for using my hair as a pulley system”
“Get your hand out of my bra, my iTouch is not in there”
“I appreciate you rinsing my toothbrush, just not in the toilet”
Lol. My daughter is always going down my bra!!
“Hey! Face OUT of the Cat dish!”
Because it sounds JUST LIKE ME.
They don’t still do that?
“Fingers out of your nose”
“Fingers out of your brother’s nose”
sigh.
Oh dear.
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