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The Endless Rant of a Multitasking Mumma

From the 40hr work week to the over flowing laundry, the miracles and frustrations of being a mom

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Say What?

June 20, 2011 by multitaskingmumma

My daughter is 14 months now and developing into a person, someone with a unique personality, quirks, a sense of humour, and a tiny itty bitty attitude.

I have no idea where she gets that from.

Recently I’ve noticed that I’ve been saying things to her that I never thought I would hear myself say.

Things that only others parents can relate to.

Sigh.

———————-

“Stop waving the spatula at the cat! That’s not how you make friends!”

“Just let me pick your nose and then you can watch Mickey Mouse.”

“Please stop mashing banana into your hair.”

“The chair is not to be chewed on, nor is the deck, go find something else to put in your mouth.”

“Really? Are you that hungry? Do we starve you? Please stop eating the deck.”

“You don’t have to scream and pull on your hair like a lunatic, I will take you pig tails out, even though they look super cute and without them you look like you’ve been through a windstorm.”

“Please don’t lick the garbage can.”

“Any and all cat food that is in your mouth should be put into mommy’s hands immediately!”

“No thank you, I’m stuffed and half chewed hot dog isn’t really that appealing.”

“Hands out of your poop!!”

“Mommy’s going to have a bath alone tonight because you pee in the water.”

“Hey! Face OUT of the Cat dish!”

“No, we don’t eat ants, dirt, or rocks!”

“Whatever, eat the dandelion, yaaaahhh, mmmmm.”

“I’ve asked you twice today to stay out of that cat food! Show me how many pieces you have in your mouth!”

—————————-

I know you’ve all said these or a variation of these things to your children!

What ones were your best or most shocking?

Let us know and we’ll vote on Friday!! Winner to be announced Monday June 27!!

What do you win?? Well there’s a postal strike in Canada right now so you don’t win any goodies through the mail, BUT you do win your blog button on my site for a whole 2 weeks!! ACK!

ADDITION: The winner will also receive a very useful and totally hot giveaway! Don’t miss out!!

THATS AWESOME!

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Posted in Humour | Tagged baby, grow, humour, mom, parenting | 39 Comments

39 Responses

  1. on June 20, 2011 at 6:56 am Nic

    I love the licking of the garbage can! I seriously don’t think my children ever did that. I just get a visual and laugh! Sorry. It’s funny! We have all been there in one way or other! 🙂


    • on June 20, 2011 at 8:47 am multitaskingmumma

      Your children sat in buckets!!


  2. on June 20, 2011 at 7:15 am Yasmin @ alittlelessfluff

    I totally have had a couple of these. Suprisingly mostly to my daughter.
    “Take that blanket out of your mouth! it is not a chew toy”
    “Take the paper out of your mouth! Find something else!”
    “Please dont chew your dummy!”
    “Stop undressing yourself, its cold”
    “Will you just keep your socks and shoes on for one second!”

    My son maybe has a couple.
    “Stop asking for food, you ate like half an hour ago and you just had a snack! How much more can you eat?”
    “No, mommy doesnt want to make a rocket, house, gun etc. again. 10 times is enough!”
    “Dont you tell me no!”


    • on June 20, 2011 at 8:47 am multitaskingmumma

      Why do they always want to be naked and eating!?


  3. on June 20, 2011 at 7:48 am karynclimans

    Hilarious! Unfortunately I can’t remember any of the things I said to my kids when they were young – it was too long ago. That said, I can remember some of the things I’ve said to my teenagers:
    I’m not a maid service.
    I’m not running a restaurant.
    I just went grocery shopping so I don’t believe you when you say there’s nothing to eat.


    • on June 20, 2011 at 8:44 am multitaskingmumma

      Oh teenagers. They eat a lot! I’m going to be poor. And hungry.


  4. on June 20, 2011 at 7:49 am Ali

    Oh my gosh. I know. Last week I said “Justin put your penis away and eat your pizza.”


    • on June 20, 2011 at 8:43 am multitaskingmumma

      Lmao!!! Omg I’m laughing so hard!!!

      Plus! I say that to my hubs all the time.

      Lol


    • on June 20, 2011 at 8:57 pm Mom Went Crazy

      oh my freaking god! I’m so glad I have girls. They have nothing to whip out!!


  5. on June 20, 2011 at 8:17 am Kimberly

    You betcha I have. Only this year it was “How many of those columbine seeds did you eat…yup my kid ate columbine seeds that were poisionous. Fack.


    • on June 20, 2011 at 8:42 am multitaskingmumma

      Oh great!! I often wonder how many poisonous plants mine has ate. Gives them character!!


  6. on June 20, 2011 at 8:20 am Amy

    Its amazing what comes out of your mouth as a mom. Whats more amazing? That it seems normal to say it!

    I have had an issue lately with my 6 yr. old.

    “You only touch your vagina in the bathroom or your room, please.”

    Something to look forward to 🙂


    • on June 20, 2011 at 8:41 am multitaskingmumma

      Ah hahaha!! Omg!! I hadn’t thought of that yet!! Awesome!!


  7. on June 20, 2011 at 8:57 am mamamash

    Frequently it’s “Do not drag the dog around by his penis.”

    Frequently.


    • on June 20, 2011 at 9:00 am multitaskingmumma

      Sweet lord in heaven this is hilarious!
      I cannot tell you how hilarious


    • on June 20, 2011 at 8:58 pm Mom Went Crazy

      I think we need some kind of vlog on this….I would love to see it on video! lol


      • on June 21, 2011 at 6:12 am multitaskingmumma

        Omg.


  8. on June 20, 2011 at 10:39 am Leigh Ann

    I love “Hands out of your poop!” Even when Zoe was itty bitty and lacked all coordination, she could still get her hand down there before I could wipe her.

    My all time fave? “Please stop slapping your vagina.” Oh, kids.


    • on June 20, 2011 at 12:19 pm multitaskingmumma

      Omg. I just laughed so loud!! The vagina ones kill me!!


    • on June 20, 2011 at 8:58 pm Mom Went Crazy

      bahahahahahaha you seriously have to do a conversations with your kids post for me!!!! You are so funny


      • on June 21, 2011 at 6:11 am multitaskingmumma

        I so will


  9. on June 20, 2011 at 10:39 am Jessica

    I have a whole list of crazy things I have said to my children in my phone but I’m in bed and the phone is far, far away. I will try to remember and add mine to the list when I get up later. But some of the things you have said to your daughter I have also said to mine.


    • on June 20, 2011 at 12:19 pm multitaskingmumma

      I await your hilarity.


  10. on June 20, 2011 at 11:26 am FranceRants

    Now that they are older, I say: “How does it feel to want?”

    Come to think of it, I say that to my husband too…..


    • on June 20, 2011 at 12:18 pm multitaskingmumma

      Hahaha. Mine just takes!! Scandalous!


  11. on June 20, 2011 at 11:57 am Alison@Mama Wants This

    Hahahahaha! All fantastically funny!

    Mine varies day to day and these are the ones I remember:

    “Drop the potty, young man!”
    “Stop turning the A/C on and off please.”
    ” Don’t open that drawer!”
    ” Watch your head/ fingers/ toes!”
    “Stop pulling on the toilet paper.”
    “Don’t put the toilet paper in the toilet!”
    ” Don’t try to flush that toilet, it’d get blocked!”
    “What’s that in your mouth?”
    “Why are you pouring water on your books?”
    “Why are you stuffing my money into your father’s boots?”
    “Don’t walk on the sofa!”
    “Get off the table now.”
    “Stop playing with Mama’s food.”
    “Don’t pull on your penis, you need it.”

    And that’s not even the full list.


    • on June 20, 2011 at 12:18 pm multitaskingmumma

      Putting money in daddy’s boots!! This child needs to learn to put daddy’s money in Mommys boots!!


  12. on June 20, 2011 at 5:06 pm Runnermom-jen

    These are hilarious!! Just wait until she’s a little older, the things that will come out of HER mouth might shock you. My 7 year old said, while in the shower, “I’m a little pissed off right now”. Clearly he had no clue what it meant, because he was perfectly happy. I laughed until I cried!


  13. on June 20, 2011 at 6:54 pm Kristy

    My bests are:

    “Put your pants on! Your gonna get a cold in your bum!”

    “That’s it! I’m calling Santa!”


    • on June 20, 2011 at 7:13 pm multitaskingmumma

      Lol!! Cold in your bum!! HA ha


  14. on June 20, 2011 at 9:01 pm Mom Went Crazy

    Oh Leigh ann! I’m DYING about licking garbage. I wish I could think of something funny, but that is just hilarious. Emma used to do that too.
    Or eat the stuff laying on the top


    • on June 21, 2011 at 6:10 am multitaskingmumma

      My child eats everything off of the floor too. She loves it. I swear I feed her!


  15. on June 20, 2011 at 10:46 pm Jayne

    Haha! I have said variants of all of this to my sun.

    May faves probably are:

    “Thank you for using my hair as a pulley system”
    “Get your hand out of my bra, my iTouch is not in there”
    “I appreciate you rinsing my toothbrush, just not in the toilet”


    • on June 21, 2011 at 6:09 am multitaskingmumma

      Lol. My daughter is always going down my bra!!


  16. on June 22, 2011 at 1:34 pm lindsay @ you are here

    “Hey! Face OUT of the Cat dish!”

    Because it sounds JUST LIKE ME.


    • on June 22, 2011 at 3:07 pm multitaskingmumma

      They don’t still do that?


  17. on June 22, 2011 at 2:38 pm Lady Estrogen

    “Fingers out of your nose”
    “Fingers out of your brother’s nose”

    sigh.


    • on June 22, 2011 at 3:00 pm multitaskingmumma

      Oh dear.


  18. on June 24, 2011 at 9:38 am Say What? VOTE!! « The Endless Rant of a Multitasking Mumma

    […] Monday I promised you great […]



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    Witty mother of one, stuck in a overflowing, misfiring brain that demands she take on 500 things at one time, all the time.
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