Posts Tagged ‘Hospital’

Since having a baby I’ve been privy to some of the most horrendous birth stories there are. We mothers do that to one another, we terrorize each other with stories of endless labour, epidurals gone wrong, episiotomies that wouldn’t heal, and doctors with no bedside manner.

We try to out do our friends with tales of popped blood vessels in our eyes, loss of bowel control, pulling arms off in the delivery room, and squeezing out 20lb babies.

Women see a pregnant woman and the gloves come off.

So when it was my turn I was prepared for the worst.

I was ready for my head to swell with each contraction, for the pits of hell to open up and the devil himself to appear and offer me a pain-free delivery in exchange for my soul.

None of this happened.

*I’d like to give a shout out to the drugs!

The first time I gave birth (and the only time so far) I relished in the vacation that was the hospital stay!

My delivery was uneventful, I mean, there was a baby and she was/is perfect in every way. We created a miracle so that was pretty awesome! But other than the miracle part – uneventful.

But after…sigh.

I laid in a bed, a bed that was all mine, and cuddled with my new baby. She only asked that I feed her, cuddle her, and stare at her.

Nurses came in and changed her, bathed her, and cooed at her. They let me sleep and woke me up when it was time to feed her each time.

My meals were brought to me, the TV was set on the station I wanted, and I had someone to help me go to the bathroom and shower me.

It was heaven.

Heaven at the hospital.

I miss it and I think about it, probably more often than I should.

If only they sold time shares.

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Pink Clouds of Morphine

This weekend I spent some time in the hospital.

My stomach was angry.

Apparently my bladder was too. I was diagnosed with a pretty bad UTI.


During my visit I was inspired!



Funny pain killer.

Liquid rescuer.

Your promise to take the stabs and discomfort away are misleading.

Turning screams from the fetal position into giggles and slurred words.

The pain is still present, just forgotten.  Lost behind your pink candy floss cloud of joy and double vision.

Unable to function normally on your sweet nectar but in too much agony without you, your recipients return for more.

I write this as you pump through my veins. Your clear fluid dances down the IV tube and into my hand, making me dizzy.

I know there’s still pain.

But the unicorn in the corner of the room is stealing my attention.


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So I’ve been having back pain for the past 3 weeks. I fell down the stairs with my baby on my hip and twisted to save my child. My heroic efforts were met with crippling pain. Thanks universe!
Thursday the pain was so intense I couldn’t get out of bed.
But I’m a survivor!
And I had to pee.
My aching body did not agree with this.
After passing out several times from the paralyzing pain I was rushed to the hospital.

Canadian Health Care System I want to thank you for the quality care:

1. Thank you 911 for not working the first 5 times my family called for an ambulance. This reassures me an emergency vehicle will be at my disposal should I need one.

2. For the paramedic who dropped his gum in my hair as I passed out in the chair, thank you for making a joke out of it. I didn’t see the humour in it that you did, however, I was in excruciating amounts of pain, wasn’t I?

3. To the admitting nurse who grabbed hold of the gurney I was laying limp on, shoving me against a wall in the emergency room hallway, leaving me there for hours without care. Thank you. I could not roll over from the pain, went in and out of consciousness, and was not spoken to or checked on.

4. You young X-Ray technicians who could not lift 30lbs let alone ME, I respect that you have a job to do but when a patient tells you they are going to pass out it might be advisable to listen. It’s much easier to move me when I’m still awake.

5.  Dear sweet nurse who stripped me naked in the Ressus room while I was unconscious, I am thankful for your speedy care, however, if you are going to insert catheters, IV’s, and other wires could you please put me in a room and not back in the hallway?

6.  To the angry nurse qualified to run the ECG, you are skilled in knowing where to place your sticky squares and attach your wires. Next time please take into consideration my not being in a room or having anything on under my gown as you expose me to the hallway full of patients and visitors.

7.  Dr. Girlfriend? I understand you’re tired. You work crazy hours, IN AN EMERGENCY ROOM, but when you can’t hide your eye rolls anymore it’s time to sneak into a broom closet and take a nap.

8. Overworked nursing staff, you are underpaid, you are not appreciated. You are not given enough time to finish paperwork. I empathize. But I will never understand putting paperwork before a patient. Seeing an elderly woman lose her dignity in a hall way because there was no time to take her to the bathroom was heartbreaking and haunts me still.

Canadian Health Care system, we are lucky to be able to have health care, however, the quality is disturbing.

I have been extremely sick this weekend and at no point during my two hospital visits did I feel I was treated like a human being.

How loudly do we have to scream before we exact change?


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