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Posts Tagged ‘sad’

Appreciating My Gift

Brian called.

He had run into an old neighbour of ours.

Being friendly he had asked how their baby was.

Their baby doesn’t live with them anymore.

They failed to provide adequately for him.

Their baby is the same age as ours.

I hung up the phone and stared at my daughter.

My 11 month old baby.

My innocent, adventurous, fragile, easy going, determined baby.

I felt my heart sink.

It sunk for the little boy who doesn’t live with his mommy and daddy anymore.

It aches to know if he is thriving now.

If he is being held by warm arms who love him.

I yearn to know that he is surrounded by loving people, a warm bed, and cozy pajamas.

Is he read stories, tickled, taken for walks?

Is he their joy?

I closed my eyes tight hoping they appreciate every second they have with him.

Just as I appreciate every second I have with mine.

I wished this with every bone in my body.

 

Leighann

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Postpardum

01/22/2011

Its hard to be funny
To be social
To smile
When the walls are closing in on you
And you feel like you’re falling down a bottomless pit

Its getting better
Slowly
But it got worse first

Some days are better than others
Some nights are longer
Sleepless

Its getting better
Slowly
But it got worse first

Being a healthy mom is the most important
But thoughts of being a bad mom swim inside my head
The anxiety builds

Its getting better
Slowly
But it got worse first

One day I’ll climb out of the pit
And be myself again
Everyday

Its getting better
Slowly
But it got worse first

Leighann

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